I would like to manage the fuck out of this situation

I need more control, with less responsibility. 

I want more results, fewer consequences.

A wish that supplants hope.

Relief without the need for relief. 

A profound lack of lack

Corpulent balance smothers a minor interruption.

Disinterested stillness.

Still...   

My muscles twitch, tense, release, and tense again.

Neck, biceps, obliques, delts, gluts and psoas(es?).

This delicate laptop keyboard might not make it through the night. These cheap headphones can't make a sound loud enough. This old desk...

This old desk is stronger than it looks.  Go to sleep, old man.