Satan: savior or pimp?

You might not have known it, but BENEATH HALLOWEEN'S CANDY COATING IS A HISTORY OF DIABOLICAL EVIL!

Seems clear that Samhain (in any form -- summer's end or lord of death) wants to eat your babies; but if you think that's scary, imagine what those punk-ass Muslims have in store. Jesus Christ... They don't have a chance.

I'm going on the record here: christians give me the creeps. And here's why:

1) Christians love peace, but constantly seek war. They are surrounded by enemies.

2) Christians don't trust themselves.

3) Christians prey on the weak.

Don't get me started on christians, 'cuz their message has failed me. I love you, Mr. and Mrs. Christian, but you're a couple of fools.

By the way, Satan, you can suck it, too; but I'll never give up on Halloween -- it costs much less than Christmas.