We fully intend to bring the republic to its knees by forgoing the foreign-made trinkets and gadgets that this psychotic capitalist nation collects daily by the millions of tons.
We reject features like powered antennae and rear-view-mirror-mounted digital temperature gauges. We replace them with home-grown, stovetop-canned jalapenos, suits handmade from paper and sidewalks built of recycled brick and mortar.
We view Christmas as an American hell that threatens everything we hold dear -- things like Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years Eve and our sound financial footing.
We eschew foolish offers, sidewalk sales, coupons and clearances in favor of not buying the crap nobody else wants. Furthermore, we do not accept the "throwaway market" that supplies us with keychain flashlights, fancy-but-not-too-fancy logo-embellished pens in unnecessarily large jewelry boxes, or free large-sized tee-shirts with corporate slogans.
We ignore the hype of the marketplace; preferring the tranquility of a home void of burdensome bullshit that we don't need, can't use and in reality don't even want.
We recognize technology for what it is -- machinery that eases the burden of the industrial age, not a tool to isolate us from our brothers and sisters. Meanwhile, we recognize the intrinsic value of a used Atari 2600 with two paddles, two joysticks and all the video game cartriges that can fit into a medium-sized cardboard box -- especially Pong. We recognize and appreciate the many levels of meaning that accompany the term "joystick."
Finally, we declare red lights as the signal to GO forward with this as-yet-unnamed revolution. Did Che stop for red lights? We doubt it.
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