Dreamy Monday

Welcome to the new American Motors Range Hand 1000: The logical "next step" for vehicles of utility and sport.

Do you take large bites? Do you crave what the 1,000 has to offer? Follow these steps to find out:

1) Evaluate whether you really need a large truck like the Range Hand 1000. Many customers find that they have little use for a truck at all since they barely have the will and strength to climb into its 62-inch-high driver's seat each morning. Furthermore, many of our customers haven't done a full day's manual labor in the past ten years.

2) Calculate the largest gasoline bill you've ever paid, and then double it.

3) Balance your need to stroke your own ego against your need to accelerate up a mountain pass while towing a 5,000-pound speed boat. Many customers don't even own a speed boat, and often it's those customers who find they've wasted their money on the Ranger Hand's optional towing package.

4) Ask yourself, "What function do dual rear wheels really serve?" If you can't answer that question, or if you have to think about it, it's unlikely you would truly appreciate their special qualities.

5) Determine whether the SuperMax Diesel is really a good fit for your lifestyle. You likely need the SuperMax Diesel if you regularly transport farm equipment on flatbed trailers, operate your vehicle on open road in a long-haul capacity, or use your vehicle to pull tree trunks from the earth. Conversely, if you simply drive your vehicle from your garage to the parking garage at the office, you might enjoy the award-winning "Rainbows of Judy" edition Range Hand 1000.

6) Are you willing to throw yourself from a moving vehicle? Some drivers find the Ranger Hand's occasional braking anomalies and listless "country-road" steering discomforting.

There are no right or wrong answers. Could be you're not a perfect fit for the world of utility sport, but don't worry -- you likely need the American Motors Range Hand 1000 most of all. In fact, you just might need two.