On the topics of race, racism and racists.

Are the neighbors really blaring a comical country song about NIGGERS from their car stereo? And are they laughing hysterically?

Oh, come the fuck on!

First of all, how funny could a dumb country song filled with tired stereotypes be? (I heard the damn song -- twice -- and it wasn't all that clever.)

But more importantly, if you've got to be a loud-mouthed racist, you should at least pick a group of people who really pose a threat to your Christian-American lifestyle! Honestly, a song about NIGGERS? What year do you think this is, neighbor? 1920?

Bother the folks who take your jobs, instead; or those that invade your neighborhood, speaking strange languages and smelling of herbs as they stand on your street corners and wait for your buses. If you make your living in the construction or farm-labor trades, target Latinos (call them all Mexicans if you like -- you really don't care where they're from, anyway.) If you're in the high-tech sector, pick on the Indians (no, idiots -- I'm talking about the highly educated, but extremely poor folks from INDIA. The ones who are stealing your jobs because they happen to be smarter and more willing to work than you. Strangely, they also speak better English.)

But really, leave the scary niggers alone, especially if you live in Colorado where black folks represent a mighty 3.8 percent of the state population according to latest U.S. Census figures. You really have nothing to fear from them. Might as well decry Eskimos, for christsakes: "Fuckin' Eskimos and their fuckin' dog sleds, runnin' round in the fuckin' snow, ruinin' the fuckin' world and threatenin' everything we hold dear... Martha, I tell ya, sumpin's gotta be done! Haw! Haw! Haw! Hee! Hee...Damn, I think I just pooped myself again."

It's unfortunate the census doesn't track the state's population of idiot bigots. Can you say "off the charts?" My extended family has produced their share, I'm ashamed to say.

Besides, getting down on the blacks is pathetically outdated. It demonstrates a profound ignorance of current affairs and a complete failure to hate your fellow man efficiently. It's a misfire of malice in embarrassing proportions.

Get with the program, Colorado, or better yet -- JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!