This kind of hubris is normally reserved for people who have jobs

But before I get to the meat of this matter, let me detail my day:

- Awoke at 8:30 a.m.
- Showered, shaved, but did not shit (saved that for later, when the clock would be ticking)
- Arrived at my "clients'" office about 9:30 a.m.
- Shat (while reading Stuff Magazine)
- Changed a few file names, did some research, checked some e-mail, made some phone calls.
- Made a prank technical document. Left it in the printer for others to find.
- Left my "clients'" office about 4:30 p.m.
- Conducted a fruitless Internet search for a free download of Paris Hilton sex video.
- One beer by 5:30 p.m., vodka martini by 6:30 p.m., an hour of guitar, Jack and Coke by 8:30 p.m.
- Begged two beers from a man I once viewed as my economic inferior.
- Begged another from a former colleague (one I like to consider a protege, although he certainly would argue with that)
- A quick -- but drunk -- drive home...

Now, on to the meat of the matter (late, but true):

You fucking British fags have failed us all here in the United States! How could you let this happen? We clearly can't handle this quagmire ourselves, yet you re-elect Blair? It was within your grasp; you could have changed history, but you blew it.

As much as I hate to, I am forced to urge our ignorant, hot-headed leaders to anhililate your pitiful island and wipe all traces of your faded empire from the face of the earth. Only then will you see how horrible a people you have become. You are, in a nutshell, the biggest pussies on the planet! Even more so than the French. It's obvious your pubs have taken a toll on your balls, and I'd love to meet a dozen or two of you in a dark alley. You're Big Show; No Results.

Here's what your idiotic media has to say about it (and believe me, it's taken me a long time to come to this hateful conclusion):

BBC:
We asked Mr. Uncle Sam, an American professor of political science who has sworn his allegiance to the Bush regime what he thinks about the Iraq situation: Professor, isn't it true that President Bush lied to the world and led the United States into a horrible war that killed thousands, if not millions of people?

Professor Sam:
No it's not true. In fact, we saved the planet, including Europe, from Saddam's huge stockpile of weapons of mass destruction.

BBC:
But investigators have not turned up a single weapon. Are you saying you're a liar and a bastard, or are you saying you're an American Pig with the culinary awareness of a butt slug?

Professor:
Neither. I'm saying the world is a better place because of U.S. action, and President Bush, both houses of Congress, the American people, the U.N., most of the Western and Eastern hemispheres, and soon, the U.S. Judicial Branch, know you can't do a God-damned thing about it.

BBC:
Right. That was Ethan Donnely reporting from Washington. Clearly demonstrating a widening rift in American policy on the Iraq war...

Me:
You can say what you want about the U.S. media, but at least when they question the Bush cronies, they have a few hard fucking facts to back their position rather than a bunch of bullshit hyperbole!

Me, again:
God help us all, for we're all a bunch of failures. And suck it, UK! (That's not bullshit hyperbole. I'll nuke you if you to disagree.)