Mathematical proof of how much I prefer pleasuring your mom over listening to your mom's stories about your childhood

Statement: 

My appreciation of your mom's memories of your childhood is the quotient derived from the dividend of the gap between your mom's thighs and the inverse divisor of the constant of proportionality.

X = the gap between your mom's thighs
Y = the joy I experience listening to your mom talk about your childhood
K = constant of proportionality

Start here: K=X/Y   

Find the joy.

 K=X/Y > K(Y)=X/Y(Y) therefore  K(Y)=X

K(Y)=X > K(Y)/K=X/K therefore Y=X/K

Solution:

This is an inverse proportiality. I like the gap between your mom's legs as much as I dislike your mom's stories about your childhood.

 Hugo S. Winterhalter.