A thesaurus prevailed upon an editor, and smote him, and slew him.

DATELINE: Calvary Over Arvada

HEADLINE: Way The Fuck Up There

SUBHEAD:  Sucking Dry That Thesaurus Udder

By: Hugo Winterhalter -- Divine Equine and 'Au Contraire Debonair' Layabout

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Correct technique is deliberate, but hasty. Correct technique is also supple and stiff -- but not in a pleasant way.

Correct technique is liquid among stone, but also stone that pounds smaller stones into dust. The correct technique of The Way will refrain from from this stone-bullying, unless stone-cold assholes provoke an unstoppable layage of waste. 

Mark my words: it will refrain -- until it won't. 

The Way is patient, sympathetic, bold, violent, humble as fuck, and soaked in humility. 

Humility compels:

A)    a readiness,

B)    a willingness,

3)    an ableness,

--> to put an abrupt, brutal stop to a thoughtless affront -- should the need exist for sudden, brutal anticlimax. 

[Humility prefers a humble, passive voice, but speaks actively when called to action.]

 

The Way and I will mete out justice with a white-hot rage that quickly fades to a gentle background warmth that could regress a colicky infant to profound slumber. The rage of The Way and I is like the 'rage' of the Big Bang. It's the 'rage' that begat the ‘noise’ part of the ‘signal-to-noise' ratio; the 'rage' that bathes modern electromagnetic equipment in soothing ripples of cross-channel static.

The wisdom of The Way guides me.

It’s a calm, relaxing wisdom, sleeping on a winter sidewalk beneath a dumpster blanket, undisturbed by a flickering neon light near a vomit-soaked gutter. It’s a wisdom awoken by the drunken footsteps of irreverent revelers assailing the unremembered glory of a previous generation while offending the unrealized hopes of the next generation.

The wisdom that guides me is sick of this shit. You can take that to the bank.

Those revelers should be careful. They might might bear witness to their own demise when they witness my wise fists smashing into their unwise faces. Their smashed and surprised faces will express sadness and despair at their sudden, unfortunate, and remarkably bloody turn of fortune.

Thankfully, should that happen, The Way will compel me to stop just before I ruin everything. I will have precious time to calmly whisper to the leader of this band of misfits: ‘I believe you have made a terrible mistake, and I wish you the opportunity to amend your mistaken ways.’

It’s a message that will awaken the better angles of his/her/their conscience such that he/she/they will assess the poor decisions made by him/her/them.

Amends will be made.

Forgiveness will be begged.

In the end, the desire to practice and promote The Way will become self-evident. Those irreverent revelers will be transformed into reverent revelers who will extol The Way.

And they will declare in active voice: “We honor you as our only true master.” 

That is the path of The Way. 

-- Other pathways are false ways.

-- False ways are always counterfeit waypoints on the byways to righteous ways until they get their asses kicked by the True Way.

-- Do. Not. Fuck. With... The Way.