tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31032882011-08-22T23:56:33.935-06:00Latitude = 39.6484, Longitude = -104.9898, Elevation = 5,371 feetDuece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.comBlogger2141100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-16345087734098440072011-08-22T23:17:00.012-06:002011-08-22T23:56:33.943-06:00

One week into my daughter's career as a student and this smart and curious little girl is already telling me what a lousy week she had at school, that she doesn't like it, that it powerful sucks because she and her classmates are required to sit and be quiet all day long. I feel ya, sista. It's been 35 years since I attended kindergarten, and somehow educators still haven't figured out what

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-80762317376288314032011-08-21T19:33:00.003-06:002011-08-22T21:14:25.894-06:00

You: Distant, incomprehensible, intelligent and wise. Does carbon-based life turn you on? Me: Violent, creative, instinctual, emotional, frightened. What I seek: Your total destruction. What I hope you seek: A little slap and tickle, a good fight. My dream: An epic clash of cultures, planets ground to dust, depleted stars, trillions dead, a dark epoch and perhaps an epiphany, a small hope, a

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-6903826925988633172011-08-03T23:36:00.002-06:002011-08-03T23:39:08.332-06:00

Have a second kid, and your priorities become: 1) care for second kid2) care for first kid3) stay employed4) abandon short, medium and several long term goals

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-47990685924508523812011-08-03T23:32:00.002-06:002011-08-03T23:35:55.953-06:00

Is there anything more subversive than helping the working class rise?

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-31339774802074890582010-01-27T21:22:00.002-07:002010-01-27T21:24:27.368-07:00

Grandma Linda, do you know what my other grandpa did? No.He died. His heart stopped and he died. He died?Yeah, he died.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-85922078076756963682009-12-03T09:53:00.006-07:002011-08-21T19:42:44.881-06:00

I've installed this app many times in many environments, and I SWEAR TO GOD each time I encounter some wacky error that requires all of my Google skills to resolve. I don't think I've ever had an E2k7 install go smoothly. Not even once... Here were the new hurdles this last time: 1) Windows Server 2008 requires Exchange 2k7 SP1 (>5GB .iso, by the way, so start downloading a day or two in advance

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-38883277365842751642009-09-12T21:57:00.002-06:002009-09-12T22:07:39.795-06:00

Put several copies of Fugazi, "Runaway Return" into your iTunes and sit back.repeat, repeat, repeat until you can't stand the song anymore.home, son! doing? gone? Near? get your tee shirts here.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-3683709629764072722009-07-20T18:19:00.007-06:002009-07-27T16:37:08.428-06:00

Are video games the end of music, art and nations? Pong may be a pointless waste of time, but if you and a friend were locked in a cell for 72 hours with nothing but an Atari 2600 and two cartriges(Pac Man and Space Invaders) which would you play?Think carefully, because your choice says a lot about who you are, and what you're likely to do in the future. You could be giving the authorities the

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-91750910879442490992009-07-20T17:38:00.006-06:002009-07-20T18:19:19.260-06:00

When you're as good a fisherman as I am, "catch and release" starts to seem a little cruel. I prefer "catch and fry up in the campfire" because it tends to more quickly end the torment these animals are forced to endure. It's a torment I'm directly responsible for every time I expertly present a caddis fly in such a tempting manner that the fish must strike. Poor little guy can't help himself.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-53899240296907056412009-06-26T00:44:00.004-06:002009-06-26T00:49:54.407-06:00

For 13 years, you were the biggest pain in the butt, yet I miss you and I'm sad that you're gone. If we meet again, I hope you'll be wiser than I was.Jk.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-78681923456186151722009-06-15T13:10:00.014-06:002009-07-20T17:33:58.133-06:00

Me: So, that Sally Hemmings must have been a great lay, huh?Thomas Jefferson: No comment.M: I mean, it's one thing to hire a whore, but it must be entirely different to OWN the mother of your children.TJ: The French Revolution embodies the seeds of true freedom and liberty...M: I guess that would have been awkward for a slaveowner like yourself. It's hard to imagine actually owning the mother of

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-35791288710063894982009-06-05T10:58:00.002-06:002009-06-05T11:00:09.003-06:00

To hell with everything else.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-83933835152141996592009-06-03T13:03:00.002-06:002009-06-03T14:04:13.968-06:00

EttoreViktorHugoHughHectorJulienneSeanMonicaHeidiTheodore (Teodoro, Fedor, Feodor)PiperPilar

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-13830004178820663832009-04-07T21:52:00.014-06:002009-07-20T17:36:16.776-06:00

Information technology is a lot like plumbing, but without many of the plumber's perks. How's that sound?I've met IT pros who didn't like it one bit, but unfortunately for them (and me), it's true. Let's take a look. IT pros and plumbers are alike because:1. People just want their toilet to work. They don't care how it works, or that its functionality involves generations of technological

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-2686005803769630602009-04-04T00:39:00.032-06:002009-07-20T17:32:53.748-06:00

I was an accomplished American guitarist at the time I first heard Vicente Amigo nearly fifteen years ago. When he attacked the strings with his explosive "Spanish strum" I thought to myself, "where the hell have I been all this time? How could it be that I've never heard this before?"So I immediately packed my bags and hopped the first freight liner to Cadiz. I lie many wave-tossed nights with

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-8328431177443227792009-04-02T14:28:00.008-06:002009-06-26T00:56:44.638-06:00

Step 1. Pray that some higher power gives a rat's ass about your puny mortal technical problems. Pray with all your might that the backups you haven't checked in months actually ran. Pray that the backup files are not just a jumble of meaningless, corrupt ones and zeroes, but actually coherent restorable data. Pray that the last successful backup was, in fact, last night and not some random date

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1740824720801014952009-03-24T22:20:00.006-06:002009-04-06T13:11:47.488-06:00

I bought some new shoes online. They shipped out of the Seattle store. The one on Pine Street. They're white and brown (actually, ivory and olive) and have old-fashioned wing-tip leatherwork on them. Orange thread binds panels of better-than-average leather embellished with an unusual cross hatch pattern. They're vintage, or maybe just classic. But they're actually neither. In fact, they're very

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-37433386824756282832009-03-24T22:17:00.002-06:002009-03-24T22:20:02.543-06:00

Do I have a porn server I didn't know about running on my computer?

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-74097720764150973202009-02-16T13:04:00.006-07:002009-02-19T12:13:19.329-07:00

You know what? You're right. We suck. I wonder if you would have been better off hiring IBM or maybe NASA to configure your desktop icons instead of worrying yourself sick with our little piss-ant, backwoods, shit-for-brains consulting company. It's not that I'm frustrated by your employees' endless pathetic technical problems and deadlines -- it's that I really, really hate your company and most

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-14539467938637904462008-11-26T22:27:00.002-07:002008-11-26T22:28:12.950-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnHBE9PFgoM&NR=1It's exactly like that.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-56552646605052026442008-11-26T21:10:00.008-07:002009-06-26T01:00:53.365-06:00

My baby's mamma's friend "Wanda" came over last night while I was preparing for an all-night session with my WOW hunter, Zhutza. She claimed an interest in WOW, and so I invited her to watch. "This is the Auction House," I said, "and this is where I stable my pet."At which point she showed me her Neopets, which were fucking ADORABLE! I loved them. We played games and checked the neo-stock-market

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-18771602087635931092008-11-19T23:56:00.008-07:002008-11-20T00:20:18.353-07:00

Apologies to my regular readers, but I've been busy fishing every last late fall day this year. But its over now. Last weekend, Pine Grove lake was 100 percent frozen. Only last week I fished there and caught three skillet-sized rainbows. Not so this weekend. Regular amounts of cold, wind, snow and ice cometh. All my fishing hopes for the next few months rely on my neighbor, who owns a Vexilar,

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-8807243173840670092008-10-23T18:04:00.003-06:002008-11-13T11:54:01.806-07:00

What a glorious fall day! My brother and I hiked to a glacial lake near the Continental Divide, an hour or more up a steep gulch... must have been thousands of feet in altitude change. The lake was miles deep, scary blue deep, and surrounded by enormous piles of rocks tossed around by the rugged Rocky Mountains. We rigged up, I with what I thought was an attractive fish-looking lure, and my

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-68555782963777948502008-10-23T17:44:00.002-06:002008-10-23T17:57:03.442-06:00

Boat's not floating. I've marked my words right here and, by God, my words have lied! Sheesh. However, I must say that the boat is done. It's as done as it will ever be. I overcame many an obstacle to get this far, not the least of which was an old gas engine that never, ever, worked. The damn thing is 25 years old, for crying out loud! What could I expect? Plus I lost a million parts over the

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-86063724807028161212008-04-02T09:59:00.002-06:002008-04-02T10:05:23.243-06:00

This mortal coil is for the birds. Rock and roll is dead. Working for a living blows. Things gotta be different in the Everlasting Kingdom of God, right? Creme sodas everyday for lunch, perfectly mixed cocktails every night. All the ladies are probably naked and beautiful, and I'd look like James Bond, but wouldn't have to kill all the time. Every day would be like an afternoon beach party with

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-29912683976539193482008-02-17T13:58:00.010-07:002008-02-17T14:59:44.165-07:00

How long does it take to build a gas-powered scale model Pay-n-Pak jet boat? Is twenty-six years enough time?Cuz I've been working on my model Pay-n-Pak jet boat for twenty six years, and I'm still not done.I started the project in junior high, and can understand that it might have been a little beyond the abilities of a first-time R/C boat builder such as I was back then. Mistakes were made,

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-85310957650207274312008-01-09T18:58:00.000-07:002008-01-09T19:06:34.496-07:00

Gotta polish these bloody ramparts. The woman don't like bloody ramparts. She also wants me to get her swords sharpened -- like I don't have important things to do."Sure, sweetie... I'll take your weapons the smith on the way to this morning's JOUST. No problem, I've got plenty of time to travel 20 minutes out of my way while the squire prepares my armor and horse -- Oh that's RIGHT! My squire

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-90056827007412051212008-01-09T18:52:00.000-07:002008-01-09T18:57:07.681-07:00

Say, lady...Why don't you take a break from the bitchin' and whinin' and take a seat next to me on this couch? We could say nothing for a while, then start groping each other, then maybe have a little sex, then maybe I could finally get some sleep. What do you think? A little Peace and Harmony... doesn't that sound nice?

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-28183978630395830472007-12-01T01:45:00.000-07:002007-12-11T21:49:59.627-07:00

Ms. Harvey:Would you please put some damn clothes on so I can study these quadratic equations? For god's sakes, this class is hard enough as it is without you prancing around in your tight-fitting preppy purple Izod shirt and your MASSIVE bosoms poking out every which way but Sunday. I can't keep my mind on these fucking VARIABLES... I've never seen nipples so strong... look like they're gonna

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-57984871490308029032007-11-10T20:31:00.000-07:002007-11-10T22:14:05.016-07:00

I think having water forced into my lungs would really help straighten out my priorities.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-72079969719462705942007-11-09T23:27:00.000-07:002007-11-12T07:41:37.512-07:00

Bounce, bounce, bounce off the atmosphere of my heart, you sweet thing!I'm taking you home with me.We're gonna get married, you and I.But we gotta fly, cuz the authorities are on the hunt for your missing person.I'm gonna be your loverbeing. I'm gonna show you the way to the center of the sunI'm gonna get you highI'm GONNA MAKE YOU SAY GOODBYE...to that fool you call your man.He's such a stupid

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-60180830296691690132007-11-09T22:28:00.000-07:002007-11-14T15:37:50.902-07:00

“Don't look at Daddy's dick, sweetie.” My 9-month-old daughter sat on the tile floor and watched me as I brushed my teeth. I did it just the way I had done for years – naked at the sink... and her gaze started to bother me. If that weren't bad enough, she climbed to a standing position, supported herself against my leg, and reached skyward for my cock!Now, I had done nothing to provoke this – a

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-20897535357045430242007-11-09T21:40:00.000-07:002007-11-09T21:56:43.723-07:00

My lyrics don't rhymeThey never did and never will.Poetry hates me'Cuz I possess disdain for quatrain and refrainfor hexameter and hyperbolefor similefor meter.My lyrics haven't the time to rhyme like fine wine between thine... hind... legs?Senseless and fence-less, what-a-mess I've made of my pencils... and my papers.My lyrics can't rhyme cuz they're slime and haven't a dime.They're street, baby.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-17910744799687132622007-09-27T17:46:00.001-06:002007-09-27T17:49:39.910-06:00

Seems I've lost my touch with youI forget to do the things I used to chorusthe things that made you thinkyou could never stand to be alone again

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-84120666313328815152007-09-17T20:19:00.000-06:002007-09-27T17:35:36.198-06:00

Hey, ma'am,what do you say...You and me come togethertouch each other?feel each other?fuck each other?Until the sun comes up again.Hey, ma'am,what do you saywe deflower each other like two napalm sluts in Edenlike an Irish couple on any given Sunday afternoon.I'd by lying if saidi could take my eyes off your slammin' shapein those high heelsin that tee shirtthat tiny skirtHey, ma'amwhat do you

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-34956918304989659572007-09-12T17:52:00.000-06:002007-09-12T17:58:32.672-06:00

General?Yes, dear?Are you coming to bed?No, dear. I'm too busy fighting this god-damned global war.Will you be up late?I don't know, dear. Go to sleep.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-81855536686555840952007-09-12T17:19:00.000-06:002007-09-12T17:20:49.896-06:00

Wicked-hot cheese on top, scalding-hot soup underneath.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-4439231115274641842007-09-05T21:26:00.000-06:002007-09-07T16:57:59.729-06:00

Bought a Romertopf at a yard sale a few weeks back thinking it would be a perfectly eclectic addition to the family kitchen. You know -- delicious roasts on a bed of hearty vegetables... that kind of thing. Well, I've learnt a lesson, and learnt it well:You can't have delicious roasts on a bed of hearty vegetable just because you buy a two-dollar clay pot at a yard sale. No, sir. You still gotta

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-79689514478614213592007-08-23T18:27:00.000-06:002007-09-12T17:07:38.760-06:00

I'm not supposed to think like this -- like a sex-starved lumberjack at Woodstock -- but I can't take my eyes off your dreamy tits. Your cleavage looks like the perfect landing spot for a long, thick, rod-shaped object (like my ax handle, maybe.)And I love your tan. I'm not being a dick -- I really love it. Your heavy makeup: don't get me started. Your face looks GREAT, and I want to FUCK YOUR

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-69720661141409268942007-08-22T16:11:00.000-06:002007-08-22T16:14:14.068-06:00

The man drifted into my mind, uninvited, on the luscious wings of Barry White. Mmmh... aaah...Finders Keepers.Bump, bump, bump, bump...

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-33512066929350378572007-07-31T21:45:00.000-06:002007-11-09T22:48:00.946-07:00

1. Warm your eggs. Warm them either in a bowl of hot water or between the thighs of the nearest and sexiest 22-year-old pre-med student you can find.2. Stir, don't shake your eggs.Again, enlist the aid of your pre-med student. Hand her (or him) the warm eggs, a bowl and a fork, and teach, teach, teach: "Don't beat the eggs, my sugar-honey, you must stir them." Remind your student that we don't

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-62554559035261361772007-07-30T17:45:00.000-06:002007-07-30T18:05:55.630-06:00

Hmm. Ten minutes of staring at the screen and I've got nothing. Must be some desperately important subconscious thought blocking my creativity. That happens sometimes. When it does, I must resort to copying other people's song lyrics:[Rocking, cool and creepy music]I'm walking down the the streetwatch the first signs of rain hit concreteI look to the distance and focus my eyeson lightning and the

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-20539227601691878172007-07-26T12:22:00.000-06:002007-07-26T12:29:28.752-06:00

She'll make someone a very happy wizard...

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-75857149971912374452007-07-22T19:00:00.001-06:002007-07-24T12:02:12.462-06:00

Just look at her. She's gorgeous, ain't she? Can't stop gawking at her HUGE KNOBS, can you? Neither can I.Born 1978-1980, I remember the day she came to the house. She was unpacked with care, and BAM! -- just like that, the family was finally cool. At least in my eyes. Felt the same as buying an iPod three years after all your friends bought theirs. It was like: "Cool stereo, man! Yeah, thanks.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-31455037951533392842007-07-21T01:10:00.000-06:002007-07-23T11:43:00.186-06:00

... and I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take a look at your tits.No, I'm serious. Here's my badge... it was issued by the Department of Homeland Defense. Terrorists are everywhere. In fact, they could be planning to use those luscious torpedoes to attack the homeland -- not that I'd mind, of course.Listen lady, I'm not kidding. The pillows must be fluffed. Freedom's not free, you know. We're a

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-70201578015901430462007-07-20T17:46:00.000-06:002007-07-21T01:09:45.026-06:00

Rumor: Jon Stewart is gay.Fact: No, he's probably not. Or at least he's doing a great job of faking it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think he was an attractive man with that funny brain, those sharp business suits and his snappy salt-and-pepper hair cuts. Whether you know it or not, that's heavy evidence -- I'm only attracted to good-looking, funny straight men. Rumor: Shaq kicked Brad Pitt

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-28877128309624604872007-07-05T14:37:00.000-06:002007-07-20T17:40:49.664-06:00

"I'm telling you, that fucking planet came out of nowhere! I was just cruising along, you know, lookin' at the stars, and WHAM! Just like that -- I was, like, "SHIT! Did I just hit a planet?!"Spaceman peered at the trooper's prowler stationed outside his cockpit, but he couldn't see the officer inside. They had been communicating over TicketNet, the official communication platform used by traffic

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-31254403199169163062007-06-22T14:23:00.000-06:002007-06-22T15:04:39.423-06:00

Never a lead repeated, never the same beat twiceNever a ballad sung softly, as our tube-amplified strings scream so loudly!when our fingers fumble o'er the frets and sticks of our quality instruments, We sometimes stumble, mumble, and produce a clever lick.Listen!You might detect a hint of brilliance,buried beneath all that lack of practice.Hey...They don't call it "garage sound" for nothing. And

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-40702508008585454672007-06-12T17:38:00.000-06:002007-06-12T20:21:45.855-06:00

"Ahhh, come on!!!"[Traffic's a bitch during Friday rush hour]"...that piece of crap can't even go inter-galactic! Who the hell he think he is, cutting me off like some kind of retard Han Solo?""That S.O.B. ain't gonna be laughing after I pop my burners into his cockpit! This Space Camero can blow that butthead out of the heavens.""Yup... he's a deadman."[Spaceman furiously clicks switches, pushes

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-24883832276258842822007-05-24T20:20:00.000-06:002007-05-24T20:27:56.369-06:00

An exercise in thee, thine and thou:1) How I lust for thee.2) Methinks thine loins burn for me...3) Wouldst thou slather thine loins with Cool Whip (registered trade mark) and permitest me to enjoy thine delights?4) Art not thou horny?5) Wouldst thou accept my deepest apologies, then?

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-5466726964195619812007-05-08T15:00:00.000-06:002007-05-08T15:43:04.196-06:00

So, I was walking down the street today when the thought struck me like a 15-pound, spiral-cut, smoked ham lobbed into my face from a passing car: "I didn't get killed by a terrorist today." So I continued with that groundbreaking thought: "Say! I don't think I've EVER been killed by a terrorist, nor do I know anybody who was."What a lucky man I must be.I have been spared from the obvious,

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-45358197289006287682007-04-24T18:07:00.000-06:002007-04-24T18:50:04.728-06:00

"That's the way we do it around here, Deuce Fuego. We work hard for our reward.""But the big dance is tonight, Mister Foxtrot! Jane Hamilton is waiting for me! I got to go!""Just because you like to dance all day and night don't mean there ain't work to be done around here. Understand what I'm sayin' Mr. Wiggly Hips? Mr. Kevin Bacon? If I were you, I'd dance myself over to the chicken shredder

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-27136452109519518322007-03-21T13:54:00.000-06:002007-04-24T19:22:49.657-06:00

I've taken this girl about as far as she will go. She sits there in the passenger seat, tiny tee and short skirt, legs crossed and hands clasped tightly on her lap. We're 22,000 miles high in geosynchronous orbit over her parents' house, and nudity doesn't appear to be an option. "The force is strong in you. Why don't you join me on the dark side?" Her head shakes no."We could do wonderful things

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-54551942970033539842007-03-21T12:16:00.000-06:002007-03-21T12:25:30.174-06:00

... if you don't step off now.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-51925458021962184932007-03-21T12:13:00.000-06:002007-03-21T12:15:52.422-06:00

I try very hard. Sometimes, I think I'm cool. Other times, I know I'm cool. And yet other times, I know I am NOT cool.Today, I'm not.Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-3317376296660434722007-03-21T12:12:00.000-06:002007-03-21T12:13:38.478-06:00

1) Although I'm still sexy, my vision is no longer perfect. 2) I am now 37.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1166479762956698042006-12-18T14:54:00.000-07:002007-01-03T12:30:35.840-07:00

Reading this, I thought to myself, "How many times, do you think, have you asked a complete stranger -- for lack of anything better to say -- what he did for work?"I suspect more times than I could count.So, here we go, a list of conversation starters that don't involve money or work:1) The time I snapped a wet towel at my brother so hard it drew blood.2) The time I skied into a drift fence and

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1163724994678931412006-11-16T17:52:00.000-07:002006-11-16T18:01:02.310-07:00

Early girl, backwards girlfloppy, skinny little girlblue skin, brown hair and the prettiest little lipsShe never was hard to look ateven when filthy and foulshe extracts her father's smile almost every time.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1163724749290965412006-11-16T17:48:00.000-07:002006-11-16T17:52:29.300-07:00

Beautiful points of lightexpand into vacant spaceinfinite lengths of timethis is the road aheada lonely light-year dreamI've come so farwho could have knownsoft lips and warm handscould make going home so hard?Never be the same againsince the day I let her insince the day I beamed her upsince the day I inhaled her breathin geosynchronous orbit above her parents' house.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1163201460756772592006-11-10T16:23:00.000-07:002007-07-23T11:51:39.452-06:00

Studly.Gross. Moldy pubic hair -- eww! Awwww.... Isn't she precious? Sexy flirt!

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1163187267700568012006-11-10T12:26:00.000-07:002006-11-10T16:19:47.640-07:00

My friend described in great detail a frenzied, spur-of-the-moment sexual encounter he recently had the fortune to experience, and I can't get the image out of my mind. It's stimulating and revolting at the same time because while I enjoy pornographic imagery, this particular porno scene is heavily infused with the image of my friend's face contorted with unholy pleasure. In fact, I have no idea

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1160436219048414282006-10-09T17:17:00.000-06:002007-03-21T12:34:08.755-06:00

1) Crash a car on purpose2) Jump from a tall building3) Crap my pants4) Shoot a gun into the dark5) Loot a store during a massive riot6) Jump a car over another car7) Revolt8) Use a sling shot to fling a dead rat at someone's body9) Light a building on fire10) Fish with dynamite.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1160435844228544352006-10-09T17:13:00.000-06:002006-10-09T17:17:24.230-06:00

1) I'll never fuck a rat.2) I'll never shove a baseball up my ass.3) I'll never eat human feces (on purpose).4) Never take a golden shower.5) Never get a blow job from two hookers at once.6) Never stick a rusty fork in my eye.7) Never shove a ho off a skyscraper8) Won't slap a bitch9) Won't hunt the "ultimate prey"10) Won't buy a Ford.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1160435431570264082006-10-09T17:09:00.000-06:002006-10-09T17:10:31.583-06:00

Over the course of my entire life. Flabs of steel-wool.I'll be huffing and slobbering around the Englewood rec center track, in case you want to watch.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1154387722489556812006-07-31T16:34:00.000-06:002006-08-01T10:48:09.383-06:00

You couldn't ask for a nicer day to stand on a street corner and beg for change. The weather was hot, but not too hot -- at least not so hot that I'd be uncomfortable wearing my tattered blue down coat. Extremely hot days will force a guy to hang his coat on a dirty guard rail or hide it in the shrubbery along the Platte River. I hated doing that because someone could steal it, or worse, I could

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1154366254403871152006-07-31T09:48:00.000-06:002006-07-31T15:05:34.070-06:00

Man, I gotta say it: The news media is a broken record, stuck on the government's message. The reasons we receive to justify our current catalog of wars have become so one-sided, it's no wonder Americans constantly feel under attack. You can't read an article about Hezbollah that doesn't also include Syria and Iran. I mean come on... Even a cursory check into who is doing the talking should raise

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1153862744721289912006-07-25T14:41:00.000-06:002006-07-25T21:01:37.720-06:00

Civilian observer, Hugo Strange Winterhalter, reporting his observances during a short walk today. These records come only from this observer's memory:1) A woman, smoking a cigarette, driving a white Cadillac with a military entrance sticker affixed to the windshield.2) An Arab-looking guy, driving a Metro taxi.3) Followed by two black guys, one of them a kid with his head out the window, riding

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1153341814531871482006-07-19T14:40:00.000-06:002006-07-19T15:06:57.326-06:00

It's easy! (come on, you know you're not 100 percent certain which way you really swing. Don't pretend like you've never even thought about it... jeez). Just watch the following clips, and note which one makes you squirm. It's that simple. These come from Beautiful Agony, a strangely erotic site that lacks tits, cock and ass. Nada one. Not even a cuss word.[Ed. note: You still probably won't

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1153261152361627042006-07-18T16:14:00.000-06:002006-07-18T22:31:12.026-06:00

At current gold prices, my value is $1,355,768.70.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1152803786851393572006-07-13T09:03:00.000-06:002006-07-13T12:25:35.743-06:00

Drunkard: "If I could get away with it, I'd shove a firearm up your asshole and repeatedly pull the trigger until I heard nothing but the muffled clicks of my firing pin -- rap, rap, rapping at my empty chamber.Barstool mate: "My god, man! You're drunk."Drunkard: "Buddy, if I could get away with it, I'd shove my cock up your asshole and repeatedly pull the trigger until..."Bar mate: (interrupting

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1152200788938835032006-07-06T09:38:00.000-06:002006-07-06T09:46:29.486-06:00

(Dixie theme song, sounded from a trucker's airhorn)Yeeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwww!

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1152139666361074772006-07-05T16:44:00.000-06:002006-07-13T09:02:49.223-06:00

Dear Sirs:I am so sorry. I know I promised "I'd take care of everything," and I might have made some exaggerated statements implying that your company's failed e-mail system was"probably just a user error" or some "simple, bone-headed misconfiguration" that had idled the workforce for days, but I was clearly wrong.I've worked for 42 straight hours repairing your broken e-mail systems, and I'll be

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1151708500791131362006-06-30T16:59:00.000-06:002006-06-30T17:01:40.803-06:00

This I didn't know:More Christians were persecuted by the Roman Government after the conversion of Constantine, than before. The difference is that's it's a Christian government who's persecuting the other Christians. -- Frontline website (probably written by devil worshipers)

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1151534258407933162006-06-28T16:29:00.000-06:002006-06-30T14:08:18.526-06:00

Fishing is a horrible way to pass the time. I went fishing yesterday after the ol' nine-to-five. Spent the majority of my time tying flies to my leader and untangling my flies from trees, rocks and even from my own rod. The evening basically went like this: Tie fly to leader, untangle, cast, untangle fly from weeds, cast, cast, untangle fly from weeds on opposite bank, cast, untangle, untangle,

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1151335527211632372006-06-26T09:18:00.000-06:002006-06-26T09:25:27.310-06:00

1. Fishing (the act of fishing, whether I catch a thing or not.)2. Mountains3. This little baby that the lady and I are cooking up.4. Chicken on a grill -- the whole chicken, butterfly cut, rubbed w/ delicious seasoning.5. Playing the organ, pathetic as I am at it.6. Playing the guitar.7. Having a job.8. Owning a car.9. Owning a house.10. Paying the bills (weird, I know)11. Dweeby weekend

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1151093992418508602006-06-23T14:18:00.000-06:002006-07-13T09:59:29.346-06:00

I once wrote for money... what a handsome words.And what a handsome young man, too.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1151090811524218042006-06-23T13:11:00.000-06:002006-07-30T23:07:28.873-06:00

The setup question: Why would a guy who grew up in Anytown U.S.A. with an ordinary, Anytown U.S.A. identity change his name to something strange and foreign that ends in Ben-Avraham? [Ed. note: modified at this dude's request.]Hypothesis first:The guy has experienced a major transformation, has divorced himself from his youth, and now lives by entirely new social, philosophical and spiritual

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1150318008717854302006-06-14T14:43:00.000-06:002006-06-14T15:01:54.270-06:00

The planets and stars tell me I'm a freakin' TIME BOMB over the next few days! And you know what? They're right! You'd all be well-advised to "zip it" and keep it chill. I can't be held responsible for my actions should you choose to screw with me:"Keep a very close watch on your blood pressure this week, especially toward the busy weekend. (Could this be causing the high BP?) Unexpected changes

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1150238089544281092006-06-13T16:22:00.000-06:002006-06-14T10:36:38.243-06:00

Okay, these are the facts:1. I'm having a kid in August, and therefore I'm going to be a father.2. I have a dad.3. Father's Day approacheth, and fuck if I have the time for it this year (because, for Christ Sakes, I'M PRETTY DAMNED BUSY FREAKING OUT about becoming a dad this summer!!!)4. Mother's Day was last month. 5. The lady is going to be a mother, as many were happy to remind her that day.6.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1150149181205671092006-06-12T15:37:00.000-06:002006-06-13T16:21:28.393-06:00

Team Archucatelectl victorious in first match! [STOP] Exceeds all expectations! [STOP] Proceeds to next round. [STOP]GOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL......OOOAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!Latin American futol champ Rojelio Galban, in Germany:"It waz very exciting, this match!""We ran at our opponents very fast...""...we made very hard kicks...""... and our balls flew into their goals many, many times!"Team

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1150145641340652912006-06-12T14:50:00.000-06:002006-06-12T14:56:55.880-06:00

I touch it, and "tickle" it with my fingers. I tap it and POKE IT WITH MY FOOT. This gets me hot and sweaty, because I do it in my garage, where there's no air conditioning.I stroke my organ every chance I get.My organ has wood...My organ is large...My organ is old...

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1148052719320067992006-05-19T09:30:00.000-06:002006-06-13T16:22:14.020-06:00

What we have here is the backside of my 1968 Lowry electric organ, with the cover removed. Cool, yes?

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1148052570768125382006-05-19T09:19:00.000-06:002006-06-12T14:59:53.836-06:00

I'm busy working at the moment, but I think Latin American superstar futbol champ Rojilio Galban has something to say:"Keeds, drugs y alcohol might seem fun and exciting, but I can say from personal experience that they're not. And while it's true that drugs can open our minds to fantastic new experiences that not even U.S. astronauts on the moon can comprehend, that's no reason to risk wasting

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1146163490950778532006-04-27T12:43:00.000-06:002006-04-27T16:04:42.046-06:00

Several times in the past weeks, the lady has wondered aloud why I have thus far failed to mention in these ethereal pages the growing bundle of joy she carries in her gut these days.Well, here it is, the worldwide photo debut of our child:This is the baby, displaying the razor-sharp sense of humor it likely inherited from its dad. It's also an athletic little turk, and day by day, the creature

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1145554367901266032006-04-20T11:25:00.000-06:002006-04-27T12:38:41.086-06:00

What an upset! Let's talk to Team Archucualtelectl Goalkeeper Rojilio Galban: "Yes, this was an upset win for some people, but it really was a team effort...... We knew that we had to... to focus on putting the ball through the goal......defense was solid...and our... our offense came up with some key plays......one game at a time..."

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1144903856207157482006-04-12T22:23:00.000-06:002006-04-12T23:14:13.236-06:00

Dear Sirs at the Internal Revenue Service:I swear to God I didn't mean to request such a huge tax return this year. I tried my damnedest not to claim anything, but Turbo Tax wouldn't have any of it. Turbo Tax website copy: "Your tax return amounts to a no-interest loan from you to the government! Find out how you can keep that money to yourself."See what I'm saying? If it were up to me, you guys

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1144689103718973912006-04-10T11:09:00.000-06:002006-04-10T11:11:44.666-06:00

This country's capacity to sell itself out is amazing.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1144685862412392952006-04-10T10:08:00.000-06:002006-04-10T10:17:42.520-06:00

U.S. Rep. Bob Beauprez, who is running for governor of the beautiful state of Colorado, says he has earned a bachelor of science in education from the University of Colorado, but it's only a B.S. in Physical Education. Who knew the stately University of Colorado offers a Bachelor of Science in physical education? I mean really! Who would spend $30,000 and four years studying dodge ball and step

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1143160419782791602006-03-23T17:26:00.000-07:002006-03-23T17:53:11.946-07:00

Wow. Tough job.This Colorado Horned Owl hasn't done a damn thing in the past 24 hours except sleep and stare off into the distance. See if it's doing anything now, and while your there, check out the exciting lives of other raptors who have made their homes among the smoke stacks of power plants.Now, the Peregrine Falcon on the other hand -- that's a busy bird.Just look: He's immersed in his

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1143086137956499242006-03-22T20:25:00.000-07:002006-03-23T15:22:45.376-07:00

Thoughts on thought: 1 To describe a thought, first consult an online thesaurus for suitable synonyms for the word "thought". 1.1 Upon finding only two, acknowledge that the digital realm lacks everything except zero and one.2 Locate a printed thesaurus. 2.2 Revel in the possibilities: Faculty of reason, pondering, meditation, deliberation, cogitation, rumination, musing, mulling, reflection,

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1142973307344791082006-03-21T13:23:00.000-07:002006-03-21T13:36:09.290-07:00

This blog seems to have degenerated into a two-way conversation between me and the lady. She is the only one who cares, apparently. Thanks for the support, sweetie! Love you!I for one am morbidly ecstatic to have such immediate and convenient access to the greatest of the world's networks -- the American Internet! Its has improved my life immeasurably. I just don't know what I'd do without it.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1142875947009806032006-03-20T09:22:00.000-07:002006-03-21T13:21:19.996-07:00

A short list of BS I've heard in the last few days, starting with this weekend's weather forecast:1. Brrr! Twelve inches of snow coming! Batton down the hatches, Colorado! Hell hath frozen over. When you awake, don't be surprised to find the roof of your house collapsed, your pets frozen to death, your car crushed, and every roadway littered with scores of weather-induced traffic casualties!

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1142525352646317632006-03-16T08:44:00.000-07:002006-07-13T09:01:31.433-06:00

It's been a long time coming for Jim Kehl's latest musical truimph, but according to light-rock afficionados, it was worth every minute! Jim spent countless hours on location in Maui as well as in studios in both New York and Los Angeles to create this masterful opus, Smooth Roads, Easy Times. During this album's production, Jim insisted on total artistic control. "I wanted to create a

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1141937777945418872006-03-09T13:16:00.000-07:002006-03-16T17:42:09.080-07:00

For thine cruel misbehavances, poor performance and dishonorous utterances; I curse thee thusly:1. Thine skins shalt chaffe, very near to the balls.2. Thine hair shalt winde tightly into a large machine.3. Thine bowels shalt leak in public.4. Two score and a half sewer rats shalt besiege thine pantaloons.5. Thine love dreams shalt feature naught but thee, thine mother and thine father.6. Aye! The

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1141698038586519582006-03-06T19:05:00.000-07:002006-03-06T19:22:09.950-07:00

Absolutely nuthin...Say it again...There are bad days, and then there are bad weeks. I'm living both simultaneously. No details because they suck. Just know that I'm not in a good mood at the moment: approximately 7 p.m., March 6, 2006. If you were to see me now, ask me how I'm feeling, I'd say to you, "Not so good." I wouldn't elaborate, and then I'd wander away to be alone with my not-so-good

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1140654790530926552006-02-22T17:21:00.000-07:002006-02-23T14:35:30.750-07:00

The Rocky Mountain News reports a man shot a neighbor six times during an argument over stolen keys. Six muther fuckin' times. And the victim didn't die, at least not yet. This happened one block from our lovely Country Estate.A guy who was close to the scene at the time characterized the incident as "strange." This guy, who's clearly not prone to hyperbole, said the shooter was a nice man who

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1140653158003022982006-02-22T16:58:00.000-07:002006-02-22T17:34:40.266-07:00

President Bush: "Man, that is good shit..."National Bioenergy Center director Mike Pacheco (giggling): "Common, dude... Give me the bong..."

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1140627497444882032006-02-22T09:51:00.000-07:002006-02-22T17:13:05.736-07:00

It's hard to say what PETA should do about this -- punish or praise? This photo is so icky, I really didn't want to post it. But then what would such censorship say about my insatiable journalistic integrity? Besides, I don't have much else to write these days... The worst part is I know the sexual deviant in this photo (that meaty hand belongs to a friend of mine. I've never met that slutty cat.

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1138926127417986192006-02-02T17:00:00.000-07:002006-06-23T14:04:52.643-06:00

If any of you stumble across one of these tucked away in, say, a closet or a garage:Be sure to box it up and mail it to me. It's a Fisher 500-C hi-fi tube receiver, made in the '60s, AND IT IS WORTHLESS TO YOU! In fact, it could even kill you.Just send it to me, I will gladly dispose of it in appropriate fashion. The Fisher 500-C has been proven dangerous to keep around the house, especially for

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3103288.post-1138668564856265902006-01-30T17:03:00.000-07:002006-02-02T17:48:09.806-07:00

'Twas a chilly day, the wind gusting off the Rocky Mountains like a frozen aluminum baseball bat swung forcefully into the genitals. But thick glass squelched the icy howling, the bitter chill a faint memory for those of us encamped in near-silent government documents section of the Denver Public Library (third floor, northwest corner.)We poured over our books and weighty documents. You could

Duece Fuegohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16283806744493425759noreply@blogger.com2