I am my video game, and you are yours.

Are video games the end of music, art and nations?

Pong may be a pointless waste of time, but if you and a friend were locked in a cell for 72 hours with nothing but an Atari 2600 and two cartriges(Pac Man and Space Invaders) which would you play?

Think carefully, because your choice says a lot about who you are, and what you're likely to do in the future. You could be giving the authorities the probable cause they need to lock you up for heineous acts you haven't even thought of committing yet. That's because your video game preferences telegraph your inclinations, your soul, your morals, and even the brain chemistry that makes you tick.

Both Pac Man and Space Invaders require immense concentration, but Pac Man's mazes demand players possess foresight, tactical awareness and an abundance of cowardice, while successful Space Invader players exhibit a two-dimensional single-minded urge to kill tempered by a strong desire to protect friends from harm. Video games stimulate different thought centers in the brain, and there's no reason a good game developer -- with the aid of a psychologist and neurologist -- couldn't create a game that targets people with specific personality traits. Perhaps they already have; think about the thieving, cop-killing, prostitute-whacking elements of Grand Theft Auto. It's high art in every sense of the word. The game will be on display in museums someday.

Why is this important? Because we could be barking up the wrong tree with ideas like Japanese weather control devices, mind control machines and UFO coverups. I suggest that the most effective paradigm of influence and control has already made its way into billions of homes worldwide. Grand Theft Auto, the best-selling video game title a few years ago, garnered an estimated $250 million. Its publisher, Rockstar Games, sold 5 million copies in 2004, and analyists expect total sales to exceed the previous Grand Theft title, which sold 15 million copies. That would be $750 million dollars. Titanic -- the best-selling blockbuster movie of all time -- was released in 1997 and it earned a paltry $600 million.


If I were director of, say, the Department of Homeland Security, the Central Intelligence Agency or the National Security Administration, I'd be looking very closely at the habits of video game players. Because video games aren't just for teenage boys anymore -- the average player is 29 years old. Everybody is playing.

So tell me, which do you prefer?

Space Invaders -- You are a ruthless killer and destroyer who uses your skill and power to protect your fellow man. You are a machine-gunner in a bunker, firing off death and dismemberment to everyone in your path. But you would never do that do a friend.

Pac Man -- You are a goal-oriented, selfish individual who scrambles for gold and runs from any conflict you can't win. You are a tactical thinker, a rule-follower, the perfect plotter who succeeds when he is far from danger, tucked away in the rear eschelons.

Asteroids -- You are a wild man who should not be allowed near others, but who is the most capable of triumph in the face of overwhelming defeat. You spin your wheels as fast as they go, and you do a lot of damage.

Missile Command -- You are a general with the capacity to marshal tens of thousands of troops with the snap of a finger, but only when someone orders you to do it. You are not a mercenary. Instead, you are a slave to warfare.

Bezerker -- You are insane.

Sim City -- You are a god.

Flight Simulator -- You love to work. Endlessly shuttling loads of tourists from one destination to another doesn't bother you at all. And it never will.

Tetris -- You came of age in the '90s. You strive to comply. You organize everything. You are the perfect minion. People like you are why we now have places like the Container Store.

Grand Theft Auto -- As much as you wish you could, you will never, ever, steal a car, drive it recklessly down crowded city sidewalks, or kill a cop. You talk loud and say nothing. In the real world, you crumple at the first sign of authority.

Doom, or more recently, Halo -- You have a brain disorder.

World of Warcraft -- You understand that "the real world" is a farce and have joined the burgeoning critical multitude as it works toward the inevitable end of the church, the global economy, and humananity as we know it. You uncontrollably yearn for the day when leadership, government and self-restraint are no longer a necessary evil of society. You quite possibly could be an anarchist.

So pick carefully. Who, exactly, are you?